Oct 102013

iAmLovedButtonI think that I first heard about the I Am Loved buttons when John, my now husband – then boyfriend, and I were wandering the mall. I don’t remember if we were looking to buy an engagement ring or if we were simply looking at engagement rings. We chose Helzberg Diamonds.

John sent me to the food court for a drink – a lame excuse to get me out of the store. He claimed he wasn’t actually buying the ring, but I knew he was. A few months later he popped the question and we were married about 2 years after that first trip to the store.

I don’t remember whether it was at that point that I picked up my first button, but it probably was. I’m sure it was a way to keep myself busy after I got back from the food court, while he was still talking to the sales rep.

That was over 10 years ago now. In that time I’ve become a casual collector of the buttons. I care the most about getting all the “core” buttons in all the languages. I looked for a list online of all the languages to be sure that I have them all. But, all I can find is several years old. The latest article says there are 12. Well, I guess I have all the ones to date because I have 15. In no particular order they are:

  1. English (of course ;-))
  2. French
  3. Chinese
  4. Japanese
  5. Bengali
  6. Arabic
  7. Polish
  8. Russian
  9. Italian
  10. German
  11. Portugese
  12. Spanish
  13. Indonesian
  14. Hindi
  15. Hebrew

There is an interesting story behind how I acquired the Hebrew button. I was at the store explaining to the sales lady that I collected the buttons and I thought that I had all the languages except Hebrew. I knew there was Hebrew available because a friend of mine had it, but the store didn’t have it at that point. I left thinking it was a bummer, and that I would have to look again next time I was at the mall.

A couple of weeks later I got a card in the mail from the sales lady at the store. She had found the Hebrew button and mailed it to me. Unfortunately that particular sales lady (if I recall her name is Christine) has left the store, but that is the kind of service that makes me return to Helzberg whenever we can afford jewelry (which isn’t very often 😥 ).

So, for anyone wondering what languages these buttons come in, I can say at least 15. If I find more, I will update the list. 🙂 Also, when I get a chance, I’ll upload pictures of all 15.

May 092012


I’ve done extensive planning on this novel and I know it will have 14 full chapters and an epilogue.  Thus far, I have 4 ½ full chapters. Here and there throughout the rest of the chapters I’ve written a full scene or part of the scene. For instance, I’ve written the last scene of Chapter 14 and the end of the next to last scene of Chapter 14. Which means that I have almost 5 full chapters written. I’m getting there. 🙂


I realized that a couple of my chapters were running really long. So, I split them into two chapters. Which means that I’m now up to 17 chapters and an Epilogue. I may even end up with more chapters at the end than the 17.

However, the final novel will be the same length, regardless of the final number of chapters. So, from now on, I’m going to count scenes instead.

I have a total of 110 scenes planned out, of which I’ve written 48. Which means that I’m officially 44% finished the book! Woo hoo!

I am so waiting for the day I can say that I have actually written a novel. 🙂

May 052012

An erotic romance writer has to decide what language they are going to use to describe their sex scenes. Some use coarser words than others. Yet, as an erotic romance READER there are some words/phrases that yank me right out of the story.

When I’m reading, I want to be sucked into the book. I want to forget that dishes need to be done, that laundry needs washing. I want to ignore the cat(s) who are bugging me for petting. In short, I want the language to fade into the background – not yank me out of the scene.

So, as a WRITER, you can believe that I won’t use those terms. In no particular order, here is what you will NOT be reading in my fiction.

*Note – no offense is meant by my comments below. I just like to spout off sometimes and the following list is meant in fun. 🙂

pitcher of creamWomen “creaming”, being “creamy”, having “cream”. This just makes me roll my eyes. The World English Dictionary, as referenced on dictionary.com defines cream as such:

1. the fatty part of milk, which rises to the top if the milk is allowed to stand

2. anything resembling cream in consistency

Obviously, women’s sexual fluid is not milk. But – women’s sexual fluid doesn’t resemble cream in consistency either.

However, if you don’t believe me, just look at all the lubes available. Lube is designed to mimic women’s natural secretions. Except for flavors or other specialty formulations all lube is clear and slippery. Cream is not clear and slippery.

Bottom line: women’s sexual fluid is clear and slippery – not creamy.

P.S. Men’s sexual fluid could accurately be called “creamy.” However, I’m not going to be using any variation of the word for them either. I don’t have anything against it, per se, it just doesn’t appeal to me.

car engineThrusting described as “pistoning.” Sigh. Are the characters humans having great sex or car engines?

Neo“Cum” or “cumming”. Sorry, the word is spelled “come”.

I know, I know, it’s all over porno sites, right? Good for them. I personally find it juvenile.

letters“Twat” or “cunt”. I hate these words. I find them vulgar and insulting. ‘Nuff said.
lips“Nether lips”. Folds aren’t technically correct, but don’t sound as, well, dumb as nether lips.
Stethoscope“Penis”. I’ve got nothing against penises. I like them quite a bit, actually. Problem is, calling them that is great for teaching kids body parts and speaking with a doctor. Not for gettin’ it on hot and heavy.

happy toothBlow jobs that don’t involve teeth. Yes, you read that correctly…sometimes teeth are a good thing. If you already know this, skip the next paragraph. If you don’t, then read on.

Here’s something you won’t read in a Cosmo or other tips guide: used correctly, involving your teeth might just be that extra that makes you give “the best blow jobs ever.” The tips books will tell you that the more he gets into it, the more pressure you can apply. That pressure doesn’t have to just be hands, tongue, or lips, though. Try lightly (keyword *lightly*) scraping your teeth over him. Or, try taking him in your mouth as far as you can and biting down lightly (again, keyword being *lightly*). He may not like this, so if you’re worried tell him you want to try something new and see if he likes it. If he doesn’t – scrap the idea. If he does, keep it in your bag of tricks.

Oh, and one more thing – wrapping your teeth around your lips before opening your mouth gives you a much narrower opening. I looked silly, but I stood in front of the mirror with a ruler: lips around teeth = 1 1/4 opening; lips pulled back, 1 3/4 opening between teeth. Much easier to go deep when the opening is bigger. Try it and you’ll see. (Unless you already know this of course.)


That’s all I can think of now. I’ll add to the list as I think of more. In the meantime, are there any words or phrases in erotic romance that drive you nuts? Let me know in the comments.

Apr 282012

…is on the way. I’ve started it, but have not yet finished. I’m aiming for finishing the first draft of the whole book by the 18th of June.  In the meantime, here’s the cover that I’ve created. Note, the image of the people is currently a comp picture from a stock photo site. When I make the novel live, I’ll buy the photo and update the cover.

Feb 012012

Remember how I said in my last post about the firefighter character: Sorry – dude, you need to grow a set. Then, come knocking on my subconscious, with a different name, and let me know what we have to talk about.

Well, he’s come knocking and he’s got much more gumption than he used to. He’s not a firefighter anymore, although I’ll still have him be the new employee at my heroine’s non profit business. And, he’s got a new name: Mark, although I don’t have a last name yet. She’s got a new name too: Veronica, or Vee for short. Again, I don’t know her last name.

The story is shaping up as one about two strong people who have their own ideas about the way the business should be run – although Mark just wants to help, and the business is Vee’s baby. So, he wants to impress her, and she just wants him out, but her business partner won’t let her fire him.

There are still a lot of details, but I’ve dedicated so much of my life to fleshing out this story that I hate the idea of abandoning it completely. I’m fairly certain that I can edit some of the book that I’ve already written for this new story.